Ruminations of an Expatriate

Archive for the ‘Jehovah Witnesses’ Category

My Jehovah Witness Friends

Friday, January 4th, 2008

Those who know me, know that I am irreligious. That is, I find no use for religion in my life, being more grounded in science than in mysticism.

I am, however, not the least bit antagonistic toward those who find their religious beliefs to bring comfort to their lives. I have, in fact, been known to take on evangelicals expressing bigotry toward Mormans and intolerant gringos expressing their bigotry toward gringo Protestant missionaries here in Mexico. Neither do I believe that any religion is more valid than any other, believing them to all be equally invalid.

Having dispensed with such qualifications, I wish to tell you of my Jehovah Witness friends.

About three months ago I answered my buzzing apartment intercom to encounter a pleasant female voice asking, in very well spoken English, if mine was the apartment in which an English speaker resides. I responded that, yes, I speak English. To which she responded that she would like to speak with me for a bit . I answered of course, “uno momento por favor” and headed for the front gate.

There at the front gate awaited a quite fetching young Mexican woman, with whom I had spoken through the intercom, and an elderly Mexican woman who, I soon determined, spoke no English.

Introductions were made, I asked what was up and soon realized that the folks were Jehovah Witnesses “spreading the good news”, as they put it.

Immediately I very politely informed Erika and her companion that I am almost 60, have given much thought to religious matters over the course of my adulthood, am not in the least amenable to any type of proselytization, and didn’t want them to waste their time on such a hopeless prospect as myself.

None-the-less, the young woman, Erika, launched into her pitch, assuring that she was not intending to try and convert me. She asked me to read a propaganda pamphlet she left with me and asked if she could return in a week or so to talk again. I took the pamphlet and indicated she was welcome to return.

A week later Erika returned with an older Canadian fellow. I again immediately and politely assured them that I was a hopeless prospect. Erika asked what I thought of the pamphlet she had left during her last visit. I answered that I couldn’t read past the first page as I considered it to be nonsensical propaganda.

The Canadian fellow began presenting the usual insipid arguments against the Theory of Evolution. I assured him that there is absolutely nothing he could possibly say to me to dissuade me from believing the fact of evolution. He asked “why is it referred to as the Theory of Relativity?” I snorted my disdain at such a pathetic argument, feeling it not necessary to be as polite to a Canadian interloper as, being an interloper myself, I feel it necessary to be toward locals. So off they went in rather short order.

I did not hear from Erika again until a couple of weeks ago when I was hailed by a pleasant female voice as I walked along the street. I turned to discover Erika and two comrades following. Erika asked if she might again stop by for a chat and assured her she was welcome.

A week later Erika again buzzed through the intercom and I went to the front gate to find Erika and an older woman from Michigan. Off we went to a local restaurant for coffee.

During the ensuing conversation I again assured them that I was useless as a prospect and that it was useless for them to try to convince me through the citation of Bible verses, as I did not in any way believe the Bible to be the revealed word of God. It is a book, I averred, written by who knows who, who knows when, and motivated by who knows which of the seven deadly sins. I bought them lunch and they went on their way, feeling quite unsatisfied, I suppose.

Earlier this week Erika called and asked if we might speak again (Mondays are her day for my neighborhood) and I answered that I would meet her at the front gate. She was accompanied for this visit by her brother.

So off we went to a restaurant downtown for coffee, and essentially the same conversation I had before with Erika and her various compatriots. Again I assured them that I’m not into mysticism and to please hold the Bible verses. Both Erika, an accountant, and her brother, Hiram, an electronics engineering student, are quite pleasant. After I convinced them that their efforts were useless the conversation moved onto more interesting topics.

When living in the USA I gave none of my time to vendors of religion or insurance, sending them on their way as soon as I learned their purpose.

What can I say? I’ve plenty of time on my hands and I’m interested in meeting and getting to know locals.

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